I mean honestly if you don't use a stylus I would probably get the s10+. It has slightly better battery life than the Note 10 plus, 10 minutes so it's not even really counted, almost as powerful, same cameras aside from the ToF sensor the Note has on the back, with an extra one on the front. It also has the same resolution screen. The only thing is it has 8gb ram at the base model co compared to the Note 10 plus base model of 12gb. If you are an absolute power user I'd get the Note 10 plus because the stylus does come in handy when taking family pictures or controlling media. The Note also had 4gb more of Ram but you will get better value with the s10+
A stylus doesn't have anywhere near the capability of the S-Pen. The S-Pen has remote control features, different levels of drawing pressures, ability to take notes on the off screen, etc.
Someone mentioned the battery life below. I have an S10+ and a Note 10+. They both have great batteries but the Note 10+ battery life is far superior than any I have ever experienced on the S10+.
You budget should be your first consideration. If you can afford either, you should compare all the features and determine what features you need. Then determine what additional features you would like to have.