I went to T-Mobile twice. They sat in my car and tried to fix this. No luck. Finally, after three months of waiting for Samsung to do something, I began to tweet. When Samsung tweeted an ad for the Note 9, I wrote the first reply to say that Bluetooth was broken. That worked: @SamsungSupport immediately contacted me via private Twitter message. They sent me instructions: 0. The following will not delete any data, app installations, or configurations. 1. Turn off the phone 2. Press Volume Up, Bixby, and Power together 3. When Galaxy logo appears, release the Power key 4. When Android logo appears, release Volume and Bixby 5. An "Installing System Update" message will appear for 30-60 seconds 6. The Android System Recovery menu appears 7. Scroll down (with Volume down key) to "Wipe Cache Partition" 8. Press Power to select 9. Press Vol down to select Yes 10. Press Power to select 11. When cache wipe is done, "Reboot System" will appear. 12. Press Power key to select 13. Phone will restart Part 2. 14. Go to your car. 15. Open the audio Bluetooth menu and unpair the Samsung phone (delete Samsung phone from system) 16. Pair the phone to your car 17. Bingo. Now, I turn on Pandora music, go to my car, get in, and Pandora immediately starts playing on the car audio. I thanked @SamsungSupport and deleted my complaint tweets. Next bug: how to get the Note 9 to write NFC tags.
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