Why can't I turn off notifications

[muchilove]

I've been chatting and chatting with support about the notifications that don't stop and where I should be able to turn them off is not even usable.

The chat has suggested turning on safe mode or turning off personalized ads, but both are obvious cop outs of the real issue.

If someone buys a thousand dollar or more phone, why tf aren't they allowed to control their own settings and notifications?

[meself]

Which notification